Parenting for dummies

Does anyone know where I can find a manual for Chance? There has to be one where. Maybe a book? Do they have Parenting For Dummies a.k.a AMY. Now I know I am not a dummy but sometimes I just don't know how to deal with some of emotional issues Chance is dealing with right now. He has had a few meltdown lately where he'll be asked to do something simple, and it'll lead into a big crying fit that he can't seem to calm himself out of. One happened on Friday (I was late coming home from work), and Andrew asked him to do something and he just started crying for a good 10 minutes. But he managed to calm down a bit but when he saw me from the window pulling in he started again so I just came home and held him like a baby and rocked him. Then he stopped and went on to playing and when asked what was wrong he would just say "I don't know".

Then it happens again tonight. I asked Chance to turn the TV as it was time for bed (his show was done) and normally Chance never gets upset when asked to do this. But he did and started crying. Then he asked to have his cold bath, I said not tonight and the crying got louder, then I asked him to push his teeth and he just lost it. I put Joe and Manny to bed and I went in to the bathroom and I said "I know what you need Chance" and he looked at me and I said "you need a snuggle with mommy" and he's like "yeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss". He crawled into bed and I held him tight and I could just feel his tense body loosen up and he was asleep in less then 5 minutes". But even as he was sleeping it took him another 10 minutes for him to fully relax. All day he kept saying he "misses daddy".

He also keeps going back and forth saying "I want mommy to go to work and daddy stay home with me", then he'll say "I want daddy to go to work and daddy stay home with me". We are working opposite shifts so that one of us is always home with him. But I guess Chance still feels like he is missing out. He wants us both home all the time (and oh how Andrew and I would LOVE for that to be a reality".

I feel he is trying to tell us something but he is not quite able to put it into words. He asked me today at breakfast if Joe and Manny are going to go back live with Michelle (their birth mom). I wish I could give him an answer (I wish *I* knew what was happening). So I think he is finally starting to understand more what fostering means. He then told me while we were clearing the table "I don't want them to take my brothers".

I'm just so scared to deal with some of his emotional issues (us fostering, being an adoptee, losing "siblings" when they are returned home). If not dealt properly can cause life long issues.